'Started, Ended, and?' Part 4

What was I thinking? "Wait in the car."? Good job trying to be emo, [saying your name]. The car keys are with Himchan. You could've asked him for them first...

You were panting hard from all the running. So much for a drama scene. You are definitely not a heroine and this is certainly NOT  a drama scene. Reality isn't that perfect.

You: *wiping tears* Uggh.. This just isn't it!

Your legs gave way and you fell down on your knees. You squealed a bit.
Feel like crying so hard... Out of embarrassment...

"Yah! You're okay??"

Looks like he did have some conscience and followed me down.. This is just so embarrass---

You looked up and it wasn't that someone you expected.
Very unexpected, indeed.

"[yourname], you're okay? Oh, Yongguk, you're h-h-here??"

You turned and saw Himchan panting.

DaeJae: HYUNG!!!
YG: *eyebrow raising and points to DaeJae* These kids.. Were here?
HC: *shrugs* Kids.. Gonna be kids..
YG: What about the two other kids at home? For goodness sake, you left Jongup and Junhong alone?
YJ: They're full grown men.. What could go wrong....

[at home]
[in the kitchen]

JU: Junhong-ah, are you supposed to crack this egg or break it completely?
JH: Huh?
JU: What do we use to mix it? *searches drawers* This?
JH: Hyung.. I think that's for the electric mixer.. Just use a spoon..
JU: We had this? Do we ever use it?
JH: *trying to break an egg*
JU: Do we need a big spoon? A small one? Wooden? Metal?
JH: Hyung, are these eggs okay? *smells*

Silence...

[back to dramatic scene]

HC: *looks at DaeJae with a 'I can't believe you guys' look*
DH: No, really. Jongup's an adult now. He's become reliable.
YJ: *nods*
YG: We better get home fast then. We need to buy those two dinner..There's nothing to cook at home.
DH: OKAY LET'S GOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *pulls Youngjae along*

Dumb-founded. What a situation.

Ahh.. Suddenly sleepy.. 

HC: Yongguk-ah, sorry. About our meeting..
YG: Never mind. Let's do it tomorrow. We still have one day left. Just drive her home safely.

Himchan unlocked the car and was reaching for you to get you in it, but Yongguk surprisingly did it faster.

YG: See you guys at home.
HC: Yeah..

Yongguk walked away to his car, where Daehyun and Youngjae are already waiting. ( They must've took a taxi to go here, well, anyway )..

You are silently looking out the window beside the driver's seat.
When Himchan finally opened the door, you quickly looked away.
Realising you haven't fasten your seatbelt, he bent towards you but you avoided his help and did it yourself.
For now, you decided to nap off while he drives.

HC: About..
You: I'm tired, just drive.
HC: Okay, I'll get us dinner then you can go straight to sleep at home.
You: Never mind.. I'm too sleepy to eat. You can buy food for yourself and wake me up when we get home.

He didn't answer and just started driving. The drive was very quiet,..

Compared to the other three's car ride.

DH: Yongguk-hyung! Where are you going to stop at? Is it the shop near the road we always go to? Are we  going to buy things to cook with? Or are we just buying light snacks??
YG: Don't know.. I'll just see..
YJ:[whispering]Shut up! Can't you see the hyungs are in a bit of a tense mood?
DH: [whispering too] What?I'm just asking!
YG: [stops the car and whispers along] There's no use whispering when I can hear you! [normal voice] Now hyung's gonna go buy some light dinner. Tteokbeokki, some soondae,..
DH: HYUNG! HYUNG! THERE'S A CAKE SHOP THERE!
YG: No, no cheesecake.
DH: *devastated*
YJ: Hyuuungggggggg~~~! Snacks? Hmmmmpphhhh??
YG: Just! Small ones. Wait here.

[Your side arrived at home]
You rushed to unfasten your seatbelt and got out of the car.
You just ran to your room upstairs immediately.
Sad? Devastated? Disappointed? Broken-hearted?
More like, embarrassed. Confused.
You slammed onto your bed and found real comfort zone. You pulled the blanket up to your head and fell into a deep sleep..

I'll wash up later.

[B.A.P side]
Himchan was in the living room, sitting with his hands folded, lost in his thoughts.
The door opens.

DH: Himchan-hyung!! Soondae?*shakes plastic bag smiling*
HC: *shakes head* I've eaten. Give them to the maknaes.
DH: I'll be in the room then! Jongup-ie!!! Junhong-ah!! Hyung's here!!

Youngjae just quickly greets Himchan and runs towards the 6-members room, too.

[Room door slammed closed]

Now, there are two figures left in the living room.
Both with a stern expression.

HC: You've eaten?
YG: Later. How about [yourname]? She's ate?
HC: She refused to. She just went straight into her room a while ago. She was sleeping in the car, I guess she's still very tired. Though she slept for 3 hours this afternoon..
YG: Are you okay?
HC: Huh?
YG: I know her. I bet she was more embarrassed about this whole thing than she is broken-hearted. But,you. Are YOU okay? That girl is more solid-hearted than you are, don't you think so too?
HC: Yeah, guess so. Heh. She chooses sleep and food over most things..
*exhales* I'm fine.
YG: Kim Himchan...

[phone rings]
HC: *looks at Yongguk*
YG: Your girlfriend?
HC: *nods*
YG: Pick it up. Seriously, you guys can't bear a day without each other.

Himchan didn't return to the living room after the phone call. He most probably already went to his girlfriend. They're both understanding of each other,  but still Himchan thinks more of her. She was not the type to overthink small matters like him.

The oldest hyung was left alone, leaning his back to the sofa, breathing out a loud exclaim.

[Yongguk's mind]
Everything's okay now, I guess.. But why do I feel so uneasy?
 
Too exhausted to move.
You went down the stairs to get a drink, scratching your head, yawning.

Ahh, thought by washing up I'm awake, but I'm still sleepy...

YG: You're up? You didn't have dinner, right?

He was right below the stairs.
You were surprised to see him, more over in your messy state right now.

You: Uhh, Yongguk.. *tries to run back up* No, but I.. I'm not really hungry.

That sound. Your stomach's acting up.
He let out a small laugh.

YG: I bought tteokbeokki. Since you don't eat soondae.. We can eat that together. I haven't eaten too. (giggles)You better eat soon.. The sound just now was kinda loud.

He turned his back while you were making your hands into fists, comically, with the urge to hit him due to embarrassment.
When you were about to go down the last stair step...
YOU TRIPPED!! ( me laughing at you suddenly )

YG:  Yah,yah,yah! Be careful!

He catches you. ( audience 'oooh'-ing sound effect)
And you quickly pulled yourself away from him.

Ahhh!! UGGGGHHHH !! NOOOOO!! Not again!! I'm so stupidly embarrassed, oh my gosh I should have just fell down and broke my legs... Oh no.. Oh ma gerrrddddd--------

[other self-cursing out of embarrassment edited out]

You: *wide-eyed* I-I-I'm fine!! Sorry!! I-I-I I'll just heat up the tteokbeokki!

You grabbed the black plastic bag you saw on the living room table and went into the kitchen, covering your red face with one hand.

YG: [yourname]-ah!
You: W-why?

He went inside the kitchen.
He was moving closer, and closer to you..

And took the plastic bag from your hand.

YG: That's the trash.
You: H-huh?

YG: *turns around to go outside, mumbling to self* Aish.. Those kids, not throwing away their own trash..

( I should play some music for you: *makes pitiful sounds*)

I should.. Just.. Die..
 Okay, heat up the food.. You need to eat. Yongguk needs to eat too.
GOSH I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE MYSELF, WHAT WAS I THINKING? UGHH-----

And so, the night goes on just like that...

I'm going to wrap up this story in the next part! :D *claps claps* I apologize that the maknaes have small parts  -__- Well it's YOUR story anyway XD . Peace! -Author

 

'Started, Ended, and?' Part 3

Wow...
You survived this.
Even after struggling with your 7 years of one-sided love, those months you had to keep it in, still, while watching him embracing another's love..
And..
Survived the aftermath. At least for that night. Don't know if you should be proud over this.
You should be grateful that you will have the week after the media exhibition off. Being sleep-deprived over work, and all the other things going on, you should be on your knees crying out of gratitude to your boss who gave you one whole week rest( after much persuasion from your team leader, Yongguk ).
Unfortunately, the week before the exhibition is crawling oh so, very slow. Okay, you felt fine after one day of poster-making.
But posters aren't the only thing you are in charge of.
Correction, your specified TEAM. Which consists of you and Himchan, for this project.

Wonder if even the most painful of a word can describe what you are going through each passing day.
Wondered also if the upcoming occurrences are also something fate has to do with.

Gosh, glad there are only 2 days left until the exhibition.
Napping feels so good this time around.. I could be in dreamland, away from reality.

"WAKE UP!"

Dude, seriously? I thought I can finally meet someone in my dreams and get over you.

You: Oh.. You're here? *stretches arms and puts on glasses* You could have come in a little later.. We're             almost finished with the rest of the paperwork..
HC: So you can nap off some more? Mmm-mm. *shakes head*
You: *eyes refusing to open completely* Hmm. Since I've done more than half of this myself , you should              just go and finish it up. Wake me up if there's anything wrong.

Sleep.. Sleep........I need sleep.. I want sleep...

You stood up to move to the sofa.
Only to be grabbed back by Himchan.
Woops. You're strong enough to free yourself from his grip.
Your eyes are opening now. Halfway.

You: I promise to wake up for the last editing! Just try to finish this yourself first. There's not even that much           left. Leave me and my sleep alone!

Lucky you. You probably, actually love sleep more than anything else. Guess sleep does knock you away from reality. The only way you can forget your depression and problems for a while.

BADOOPPP!!!(don't know if this is how slamming yourself to the sofa suppose to sound like)

Yes... Sleep... ZzZzZzZzZ....

"When you wake up, go get ready. I'm bringing you somewhere."

Eisshhhh. Even in my dreams, is every guy suppose to sound like him?

"Oi!"

Arms slapped.

Ey? I can now even feel pain in my dreams?

"Oi! [yourname]! Are you even listening to me? No matter how tired you are, how can you tell someone else to work on their own just because you drafted some things beforehand and sleep off  like a dead body?"

Wait..I thought dreams are supposed to get rid of things like reality! 

You: Huh?? *rubs eyes*
HC: Eish! Don't rub your eyes so hard! *pulls your hands*
You: *whines* Just let me sleep already! What? You can go on dates for hours and I can't even date my                sleep?
HC: *sighs* Fine. Just! Make sure to wake up when I tell you to.
You: Fine.. Whatever.

Chose sleep over anything else. You deserve a standing ovation.

3 hours later... ( You call that a nap? Wow.. )

HC: Miss Sleeping Beauty. Oi. Miss Sleeping Beauty, wake up.
You: *mumbling in dreams*
HC: OII!
You: Fineeee. I'll wake up. My dream wasn't any prettier than reality anyway.

Wait. I can't even remember what I dreamt of.

HC: We can finish up tomorrow morning. Everything else is done, we only need to double-check some stuff
        then we're good to go. Now, go .. Go fix your hair, put makeup or something and dress warmly!
You: Huh??? (whispering to self) Am I still dreaming?
HC: No you're not, [yourname]-ssi. Now, go go! We haven't got enough time for our date!
You: Date? Yah....... You're dragging me to your date? You're seriously too much! Uggh, you're not gonna           bring me to double date with you, are you? That's so like you.. You're gonna be like ,*imitates deep             voice* "Oohh I'm sorry so I found a guy who's gonna be better than me for you.." Blah blah.....

That was a bad joke. Oops.

HC: Not quite. You're wrong about some things. First. My girlfriend's not joining us. Second, it's not a                  double date. It's our date. Just you and me.

You gave him a look.

You: Are you on your cheesy mode again? Or are you just.. Crazy? *finger showing crazy sign* Huh?                   Stressed over work?
HC: Okay! I'll take that as a compliment. I'll be waiting outside in the car. Hurry up. I think Yongguk's going        to call us in for a small meeting about the last preparations for the exhibition. See you.
You: Uggh! Even for a dream, isn't this too much?????!!

You got dressed anyway. Bravo.

Outside..

HC: Yah! Ppali!!
You: Alright, alright, I'm coming!

During the drive, not much is coming out from neither both of you. You kept asking him where you guys are headed to but all he does look at you for a second then turn back to the wheel.
If only you didn't nap for so long that evening, you could have killed your curiosity by sleeping in the car.
Your mind is too flooded you didn't even realise the car already stopped.

HC: We're here.
You: *dazed*
HC: Are you sleeping again?
You: Huh? No. No... Are we..

You looked outside the window and froze as you saw the building.

You: Why are we here?
HC: You said you want to go up to the 8th floor someday. With someone you like. Well, I thought maybe at        that time you were thinking of me so as long as you still like me now, maybe I should bring you there.
You: Silly. You think I wouldn't get to like someone else and bring him here anytime soon? Merong!
HC: That's gonna be quite hard, isn't it?
You: ....

He knows too much about me. Darn it.

HC: Come on out.

Alright. Just come out. Maybe this is something you should enjoy while it lasts. Maybe.

There it is. The Han Cinema building. Entered through the Chungmuro Station. Now all you have to do is go to the 8th floor. Don't think you're here for a movie, anyway.

Wow... So this is how it looks like in here...

You cannot stop your eyes from scanning around this beautiful place even for a second.
A picturesque in the middle of a busy city. It's not even that hard to go here. Maybe you're just being stubborn refusing to go here alone. Very stubborn indeed. That wishful thinking of yours.

You: Pretty..

Smiles. It's been a while since you put on that sincere smile.

HC: Why do you really wanna go here anyway? You can go here anytime you want, plus it is a beautiful               place but there won't be much to do here than just looking around,sitting and chatting..
You: What a joke. Tell me, if you come here with your girlfriend, would you even mind sitting and just lurking          here for hours? Huh? Gosh.. How ungrateful.
HC: Guess you're right. Since it's getting darker now, everything looks prettier.
You: *looking up and smiling* Yeah... hmm. But it ruins my imagination to come here with you. Uggh!
         You're not even my boyfriend! You're just.. A boy that is a friend.
HC: I'm special though, right? I guess that's the same thing. Hahaha! Okay, I'll be your boyfriend for today!          :D
You: .....
HC: You know?
You: What? I know a lot of things.
HC: Haha. Yeah. Maybe you know this too.. Among all the people I know, you're the cutest one.

Aissh. Stop right there.

You were walking  in front, followed by him at the back.

You: Yeah, I know that.
HC: And.. That I love you unlike any other.
You: Hmm. That too. Aren't there anything new you're gonna tell me? I know just so much.

Man. He shouldn't have brought me here to assist with his cheesy mode. 

HC: And I can only be able to love you as much as that.

Your footsteps came to a halt.
Thought that the tears were dried enough.

HC: [your full name].
You: .. Mm-mm?

He didn't have to fulfill that part of your wishful thinking.
A back hug. No more control to your tears now.
One by one.. They are dropping.

You: You let me know too much new things today.
HC: Since I'm your special boyfriend for today.. You're suppose to expect things like this, aren't you? Hehe.

You wanted to feel the warmth a little more.

Okay. This much is enough for me. 

You let go of his grip and turned around to face him.

You: No. Channie, no. You are not my special boyfriend. Not today, not until whenever.
HC: [yourname]-ah..

Wearing a laugh, your tears are still unstoppable.

You: Because if you are my boyfriend, even for only for today, we would still have to break up. I can't keep         someone I broke up with as my friend. Also.. In my dictionary, there aren't anything like a 'getting back         with ex-boyfriend' term. Haha.. We need to work! I see you everyday, it's gonna get ugly if you do this.
        Even though maybe.. I do need something like this. Because maybe I cannot end anything if I haven't             started something. Thank you.. Anyway.
HC: I'm sorry.

No.. Didn't I tell you to not say that word to me again?..

"Hey! Himchan! [yourname]! I knew you'd guys be here! Wow, what a great place! Maybe we should just tell Yongguk hyung to hold the meeting here, eh?"

Yongguk? Isn't that Dae's voice?

HC: Yah! Who told you to come here? With.. Youngjae? You little kids! What are you doing here?
       [yourname]-ah, I'm sorry, I didn't...
You: No, it's okay. I'll wait in the car.

Hurry. Run. 

There were no footsteps following behind you. You thought so.
You just ran so fast. Can't hear anything.

And that's it for now!! I'll leave the DaeJae situation to shipping.. XD I kinda changed my style a bit here so it's not too melo. No one likes continuous and endless melo. Haha. See you soon! Happy BABY-ing! :)

'Started, Ended, and?' Part 2

The tears of that fragile guy. What have I done?

You froze. In fact, it seems as everything else did, too.
You can only see him and the little motions he makes to hold in his tears.

No. What am I doing?

You: Channie...

A few little steps towards him.

You: Don't cry.

Your hands automatically reaches his cold cheeks.
Then a little faster, you put your hands away reflexively.

Ultimately, you knew he himself cannot put in words what he's feeling right now.
Your fingers came into a fist, you swallowed a few times and you hear something echoing in your heart.

You know what to do. Stop procrastinating.

With your tears returning, not minding the crack in your voice,

You: I'm sorry. I'm. .So..Sorry..

Fate is just too cruel.

You: Channie..

Your mind played a flashback of every moment you spent together with him.
From the first time you entered the 6 guys house when your parents died in a car accident.
Met him. How arrogant, his visuals says so.
But no. He was as sweet as he can be. Being a subtle guy, he was known for being easily touched and sensitive about a lot of things.
He was so good to you. So, so sweet.
Because you need friends. He became a friend.
He should stay as a friend.

Throwing away the greed for more of his affections, you started to caress his hair.
You realised that you were always comforted by him this way, but you yourself never tried to comfort him in any way at all.

You: It just happened that way.
        I won't ask anything from you.

That's the end.
My first love, my crush for 7 years.
It reached the end. 

Like needles pricking your heart endlessly.

I can only end it when I choose to.

The moment you finally confessed, "I like you."
Full stop. Done. Nothing more to it. No reason to continue anyway. 

Love comes slow but goes so fast. How true.How painfully true.
Wipe your tears. 

You: Hahaha, Channie-yah! What in the world are we doing?

Laugh it off. Fight it.

You: The poster! Channie, the poster! Gosh.. This is beyond silly. Haha!! *pats his back*
         .... Channie?
He lifted up his head and there it is. The dimple near his left eye, his eye smile. That charming smile.
He's also hiding his wet eyes.
By giggling.

HC: Oh, yeah..Yeah... Hehe. Hmm..
You: You think we can use this one for the background? *points to laptop*
HC: Mmm?

Cannot look at him.

You: This one. Oh, and the colour should be lighter because the walls are quite dark-coloured..
HC: Oh, right. No, take this one out. We can't put in too many words.
You: Kay. Wait.. Need to shade this part too..

You accidentally heard him breathing with a deep sigh.

HC: Are we... Okay?

'We'. He's questioning his calmness himself. Channie, I'm so sorry.

You: Hehe. If we try.
If we try hard and pretend. 
        Of course. Gosh, Channie. FOCUS!! *hits him*
         ... Ehehe. Sorry.
It took him a moment, as if hesitating, to let out another giggle.
And he suddenly put on a sulking face. Kim Himchan.. and his soothing humour..
HC: That hurts. *aegyo*
You: *hits harder* Serves you right. Now. FOCUS. *wide-eyed*

Traces of the tears. We're fine now. They're drying up.
That's probably the only thing there is to this. It's enough I said what I need to say. Our friendship, is more of a priority. 

You can't leave anything awkward. Try harder.
Work progressed fine. Both of you are trying so hard, but eventually the two of you realised,
this needs time. You can try harder, but that will just end up in vain.
The only thing to do is let this go. Getting back to the casual you and him.. Needs time.
Silence took over most of that night.
Trying to laugh.. Trying to smile.. Trying to joke..
Nothing can be done to undo this. In fact, nothing should be done.

We need more time. We really do. We'll be completely fine. Later. Not now.

Note: Part 2 done! Gosh, it's short but it took so long because it would be weird if I progress the story like 'oh we're sad' and suddenly 'oh we're happy again'.. Get it? Hahaha. Sorry >_< I hope it turned out fine. . I tried to keep up the sad mood but in a way that they can progress. Okay, must try harder for the next part! <3 

'Started, Ended, and?'

I am back from a long hiatus! When my fangirl heart was withering away, it survived with the existence of the well-loved technology called the TV.. Thank you TV. :D Now my imagines should be made more free and general! Since I have this obsessive thing towards Korean actors nowadays, my imagines might be a little too. . Dramatic. :D Be prepared!
Maybe I should change my style a bit. . Are you ready for sad imagines? You can't always have happy endings XD

PART 1

#imagine you had a crush on Kim Himchan for almost 7 years. Your current relationship with him are close friends. With him, you are in your most comfortable state. He is your friend, someone very sibling-like. Eventually your feelings went into another direction. Because he's the only guy you're always with, you cannot help but develop feelings for him. As if it is not enough that you went overboard with growing those feelings, you made another mistake.
You did not tell him how you sincerely feel. Fearing that you two will be drifted apart by doing so, you kept everything to yourself. Only you. You thought like so.
If only you knew what will really hurt you. Either it's when your heart started to flutter for him, or when every time you tried hard to endure the pain of not being able to say, at least, the words,
"I like you."
Or. . Trying to change something that will make you hurt a lot when it doesn't answer to yours, something that only miracles can change.
The heart of a person. You cannot expect to change that swiftly and simply, moreover if you are not prepared to be broken into pieces, facing a path that is like an undying fire that will keep burning you until you decide to give up, recover and treat yourself or either someone else can put it out for you.
The thing is, neither of those choices are easy for both sides as well.

That day, came. Being stuck to him like glue, you probably didn't think of the chances that you are not the only girl who can turn exceptionally special in his life.

A crush for 7 years? Yes, a crush.You didn't confess to him, you do not know about his view towards you as a woman.
Guess there is no more use to wondering. Your crush, has turned completely into a one-sided love.

His smile.
For you, and for her, it just feels. .Different.

His embrace.
You are used to it as a place to hide in comfort, and now, you have to share that comfort zone with someone else while she takes away more than the comfort itself.

Putting everything aside, his heart.
That could have been shaken up at least once by your presence, is now beating for someone else.

Of course, this is a no brainer. You never tried. What could possibly go right or wrong? The fact that he still treats you the same, talks to you the same way, and.. Hugs you like old times. What more can you ask for? He gave what a friend can give to a friend, and gave what a man can give to a woman, his love, to that someone else. But you are a human, a girl, and you also have a heart. Your love. Is given away. Without consent, and left alone.

[ In your hangout place ]
HC: Hey, hey, hey! Sorry guys, there was a bit of a traffic jam out there.
DH: So, what? During that long traffic jam, you and [HC's girlfriend] ... *raises eyebrows*
HC: *hits Daehyun* Shut it off, kid. You will be cursed with that mouth of yours.
JU: *smiles and imitates angry Channie*

You remained silent. Yongguk was staring at you without you realising.
YG: Well you could have gone back earlier. The roads aren't uncommonly jammed during these hours. You are a hyung, be more responsible.

He let out a sigh.

YG: And [your name] here can't start on the editing without you. She's your working partner, you also need to consider her time.
HC: Okay, okay. Yongguk-ah, sorry. That will be the last time.

He came near you and put his shoulder around yours.

HC: Eyy, [yourname]-ah! Mian. You must have waited long. To make up for it, I bought your fave carp bread! Here!
You: *takes the bag* Thanks. I'll share it later with you guys. Channie. .

You stood up in a rushed manner.

"We need to start the editing for our exhibition poster next week now. We haven't got much time."
Himchan locks his gaze on you, as if to express his astonishment towards your unusual behaviour.It's been several months since he started dating, and just a few days ago you started to act differently.

HC: Are you mad at me? I'm really sorry. Really.
You: No.. No. It's okay. It's the first time you did this anyway. I'm just. . A little tired.
HC: Really? Then maybe you should rest a bit today. I can work on it alone and you can help me finish up tomorrow.
He took the plastic bag from your hands and put his hands on your shoulder to sit you down. You pulled away from him, unknowingly in a violent manner.

You: I said no! Just.. We better just start working on the posters now. We have the flyers to deal with too,and the..

You were running out of breath.

HC: What's going into you? Nowadays, you won't even tell me if you're mad, angry, sad or happy , you just tell me off. I said I'm sorry. I really am. And I want you to rest, now. Look at you. Since when did you start having those dark circles?

He went near you and stares into your eyes. Enough to make you choked up, breathless.

HC: Huh? *pats your head* I am very sorry. Anything I've done wrong these few days, I'm sorry for them.
You: *holds in tears* H-huh?

You stepped back a bit. He went nearer to you and tried to pull you into an embrace. You rejected the comfort zone offer.
This is it. This is probably your limit to enduring this pain. Doing this will not make you feel any better, but you became selfish and thought that maybe it's only fair if he's hurt in some way, too.
That decisive moment. You did not realise how jealousy overpowers you.

You: Fine. Okay. I'm mad. I'm angry, I'm sad. I'm hurt. And recently these few days, I'm hurt more than usual. I don't know anymore. I don't know which of these ridiculous feelings should I show to you. So I just stayed away. I sound stupidly selfish, right? I mean, like what? I didn't tell you anything and suddenly I'm acting like this. But you know what? I have been with you, stuck to you like glue for more than 7 years and you still cannot get it? Don't you ever think of the possibilities that I might go overboard? I might cross the line of our friendship? The fact that you are the only guy who's been around me for that long. . You can't see it?

Selfish words. Right or wrong, you cannot think.

HC: [yourname]-ah..

Your tears turned from sobbing to a loud cry, choking you.

You: I.. Like you, Kim Himchan.

His eyes were shining light of guilt towards you. That broke your heart even more. What have you done? Why are you hurting him? You feel rotten more than ever. Hurting the one you love, what can be more worse than that?

This time, he is the first one to step back. Your eyes are fixed on him, and it took a while before he was able to lift up his head.

Teary.

HC: [yourname]-ah. . I'm. .

No, please, not that word again. Not another 'sorry'. Not this time.

HC: I'm a jerk.

Your tears that were flowing came to a sudden stop.

HC: I'm an awful jerk. I shouldn't have done that to you.

Done what? Oh, heavens, no. You pierced a knife in his heart. How could you forget? The sensitivity in every words, to Himchan. The guy whose heart is probably more fragile than yours.
You stood there, feeling every part of your body trembling.

You: Channie, no. . I don't mean to..

The tears of that fragile guy. What have I done?