'Started, Ended, and?'

I am back from a long hiatus! When my fangirl heart was withering away, it survived with the existence of the well-loved technology called the TV.. Thank you TV. :D Now my imagines should be made more free and general! Since I have this obsessive thing towards Korean actors nowadays, my imagines might be a little too. . Dramatic. :D Be prepared!
Maybe I should change my style a bit. . Are you ready for sad imagines? You can't always have happy endings XD

PART 1

#imagine you had a crush on Kim Himchan for almost 7 years. Your current relationship with him are close friends. With him, you are in your most comfortable state. He is your friend, someone very sibling-like. Eventually your feelings went into another direction. Because he's the only guy you're always with, you cannot help but develop feelings for him. As if it is not enough that you went overboard with growing those feelings, you made another mistake.
You did not tell him how you sincerely feel. Fearing that you two will be drifted apart by doing so, you kept everything to yourself. Only you. You thought like so.
If only you knew what will really hurt you. Either it's when your heart started to flutter for him, or when every time you tried hard to endure the pain of not being able to say, at least, the words,
"I like you."
Or. . Trying to change something that will make you hurt a lot when it doesn't answer to yours, something that only miracles can change.
The heart of a person. You cannot expect to change that swiftly and simply, moreover if you are not prepared to be broken into pieces, facing a path that is like an undying fire that will keep burning you until you decide to give up, recover and treat yourself or either someone else can put it out for you.
The thing is, neither of those choices are easy for both sides as well.

That day, came. Being stuck to him like glue, you probably didn't think of the chances that you are not the only girl who can turn exceptionally special in his life.

A crush for 7 years? Yes, a crush.You didn't confess to him, you do not know about his view towards you as a woman.
Guess there is no more use to wondering. Your crush, has turned completely into a one-sided love.

His smile.
For you, and for her, it just feels. .Different.

His embrace.
You are used to it as a place to hide in comfort, and now, you have to share that comfort zone with someone else while she takes away more than the comfort itself.

Putting everything aside, his heart.
That could have been shaken up at least once by your presence, is now beating for someone else.

Of course, this is a no brainer. You never tried. What could possibly go right or wrong? The fact that he still treats you the same, talks to you the same way, and.. Hugs you like old times. What more can you ask for? He gave what a friend can give to a friend, and gave what a man can give to a woman, his love, to that someone else. But you are a human, a girl, and you also have a heart. Your love. Is given away. Without consent, and left alone.

[ In your hangout place ]
HC: Hey, hey, hey! Sorry guys, there was a bit of a traffic jam out there.
DH: So, what? During that long traffic jam, you and [HC's girlfriend] ... *raises eyebrows*
HC: *hits Daehyun* Shut it off, kid. You will be cursed with that mouth of yours.
JU: *smiles and imitates angry Channie*

You remained silent. Yongguk was staring at you without you realising.
YG: Well you could have gone back earlier. The roads aren't uncommonly jammed during these hours. You are a hyung, be more responsible.

He let out a sigh.

YG: And [your name] here can't start on the editing without you. She's your working partner, you also need to consider her time.
HC: Okay, okay. Yongguk-ah, sorry. That will be the last time.

He came near you and put his shoulder around yours.

HC: Eyy, [yourname]-ah! Mian. You must have waited long. To make up for it, I bought your fave carp bread! Here!
You: *takes the bag* Thanks. I'll share it later with you guys. Channie. .

You stood up in a rushed manner.

"We need to start the editing for our exhibition poster next week now. We haven't got much time."
Himchan locks his gaze on you, as if to express his astonishment towards your unusual behaviour.It's been several months since he started dating, and just a few days ago you started to act differently.

HC: Are you mad at me? I'm really sorry. Really.
You: No.. No. It's okay. It's the first time you did this anyway. I'm just. . A little tired.
HC: Really? Then maybe you should rest a bit today. I can work on it alone and you can help me finish up tomorrow.
He took the plastic bag from your hands and put his hands on your shoulder to sit you down. You pulled away from him, unknowingly in a violent manner.

You: I said no! Just.. We better just start working on the posters now. We have the flyers to deal with too,and the..

You were running out of breath.

HC: What's going into you? Nowadays, you won't even tell me if you're mad, angry, sad or happy , you just tell me off. I said I'm sorry. I really am. And I want you to rest, now. Look at you. Since when did you start having those dark circles?

He went near you and stares into your eyes. Enough to make you choked up, breathless.

HC: Huh? *pats your head* I am very sorry. Anything I've done wrong these few days, I'm sorry for them.
You: *holds in tears* H-huh?

You stepped back a bit. He went nearer to you and tried to pull you into an embrace. You rejected the comfort zone offer.
This is it. This is probably your limit to enduring this pain. Doing this will not make you feel any better, but you became selfish and thought that maybe it's only fair if he's hurt in some way, too.
That decisive moment. You did not realise how jealousy overpowers you.

You: Fine. Okay. I'm mad. I'm angry, I'm sad. I'm hurt. And recently these few days, I'm hurt more than usual. I don't know anymore. I don't know which of these ridiculous feelings should I show to you. So I just stayed away. I sound stupidly selfish, right? I mean, like what? I didn't tell you anything and suddenly I'm acting like this. But you know what? I have been with you, stuck to you like glue for more than 7 years and you still cannot get it? Don't you ever think of the possibilities that I might go overboard? I might cross the line of our friendship? The fact that you are the only guy who's been around me for that long. . You can't see it?

Selfish words. Right or wrong, you cannot think.

HC: [yourname]-ah..

Your tears turned from sobbing to a loud cry, choking you.

You: I.. Like you, Kim Himchan.

His eyes were shining light of guilt towards you. That broke your heart even more. What have you done? Why are you hurting him? You feel rotten more than ever. Hurting the one you love, what can be more worse than that?

This time, he is the first one to step back. Your eyes are fixed on him, and it took a while before he was able to lift up his head.

Teary.

HC: [yourname]-ah. . I'm. .

No, please, not that word again. Not another 'sorry'. Not this time.

HC: I'm a jerk.

Your tears that were flowing came to a sudden stop.

HC: I'm an awful jerk. I shouldn't have done that to you.

Done what? Oh, heavens, no. You pierced a knife in his heart. How could you forget? The sensitivity in every words, to Himchan. The guy whose heart is probably more fragile than yours.
You stood there, feeling every part of your body trembling.

You: Channie, no. . I don't mean to..

The tears of that fragile guy. What have I done?